The “rule of thirds” is an old photography expression that means you place the subject on an arbitrary line that divides the photo into thirds. I’ve thought that the analogy is useful for our children in churches. In general, churches lose one-third of their kids to falling away, one-third to moving away (they may remain faithful or not), and one-third to staying with the group. Those numbers aren’t easy to accept, and they’ve contributed to a demographic shift in most churches.

Every congregation has a story to tell about a “good Christian” child, raised in a good home and in their congregation, who walked away from their faith during college. These children, from all outward appearances, looked as strong in the faith as humanly possible, but now they want nothing to do with it.

This previous illustration about the faith of our young people is unnerving at best. What are we doing wrong? There’s no one easy solution for bringing all of those “lost” children back to God. However, we can all look at the young adults in our congregations who are faithful and involved. The following are three observations that set apart the children who genuinely labor for the Lord.

First, they’re converted. Paul doesn’t use phrases like “nominal Christian” or “pretty good kid.” The testimony of Scripture on the topic of conversion is explicit. Salvation is a turning from wickedness that comes from the glorious power of God through His Word (cp. Acts 19:18-20). That Word can’t work if they’re choked with the cares of the world at a young age (Luke 8:14).

We need to stop talking about “good kids.” We need to stop being pleased with only attendance at our assemblies and Bible classes. We need to be fervently praying that the Scriptures will work in their young hearts (James 1:25). In short, we need to get back to a focus on conversion.

Second, they’ve been equipped, not entertained. I’m not against having fun with the young people in the congregation, but we need to keep repeating the words of Ephesians 4:11-12. Christ gave teachers to the church, not for entertainment, encouragement, examples, or even primarily friendship. He gave us to the church to “equip” the saints to serve in order that the church of Christ may be built up.

If I haven’t equipped the children to teach the gospel, edify a younger Christian, and lead a Bible study, then I haven’t fulfilled my work to them, no matter how good my sermons have been. We pray for conversion, but after conversion, it’s our Christ-given duty to help fan a flame of faith.

Third, their parents preached the gospel to them. It’s impossible for us to equip the congregation’s children if the work isn’t being reinforced tenfold in the home. The common thread that binds together service-minded 20-somethings is abundantly clear: a home where the gospel wasn’t peripheral, but absolutely central — they’re serving, leading, and driving the work in congregations.

What constitutes “preaching the gospel” to them? Consider four elements. First, they’re kids whose parents read the Bible to them and prayed with them at home (Deuteronomy 6:7-9). Second, they’re kids whose parents made them go to Bible classes and worship assemblies (Hebrews 10:25). Third, they’re kids whose parents were tough but who extolled Christ as the basis for peace with God and forgiveness toward one another (Romans 5:1). Fourth, they’re kids whose parents punished them and held them accountable when they were rebellious (Proverbs 19:18). You need to be prepared that your kids are going to do sinful things (almost exclusively behind your back): Cursing, dancing, drinking, lying, pornography, premarital sex, vaping, etc. I know they’re your beautiful children, but they’re just as much a part of sinful humanity as everyone else (which was a tough lesson for me to swallow). As an important precaution, they need to be taught about coming back to God when they sin (Luke 15:11-24).

In general, children who are led in their faith during their younger years by parents who love Jesus deeply, serve their congregation actively, and saturate their home with the gospel completely, grow up to love God and His church (Luke 1:6).

Please don’t let your children fade away into the world and the clutches of Satan. Pray with all your might for true conversion; that’s the gospel’s work. Equip the saints for the work of the ministry; that’s the congregation’s work. Parents, preach and live the gospel for your children — our work depends on you.