“Happily ever after” doesn’t happen by accident. Happy, successful, lasting marriages take a lot of work. Both the husband and the wife must put forth the effort needed to strengthen the marriage bond and maintain the joy from this union.

Communication is the key to maintaining any healthy relationship. Parties begin to grow apart when there is a breakdown in regular communication. Make it a priority to talk to one another about what is going on in your lives (work, children, extended family, etc.). Choose your words wisely - “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver” (Prov. 25:11). Don’t nag and complain (Prov. 21:9, 19). Instead, choose words that are “good for necessary edification” (Eph. 4:29).

Compassion is the expression of love that is necessary in a marriage. The people we love are not always lovable. They have bad days. They do and say things that frustrate us. Husbands are to dwell with their wives with understanding, giving them honor, loving them without being bitter toward them (1 Pet. 3:7; Col. 3:19). Wives are to respect their husbands (Eph. 5:33), even during those trying times.

We sometimes treat strangers better than those who are closest to us. “Love is kind” (1 Cor. 13:4), so be kind and affectionate to your spouse. Pay attention to them, listen to them, praise them. Let them know you appreciate them.

Compromise is an important component to making a marriage work. The greatest enemy of love is selfishness. Each spouse must “look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of” the other (Phil. 2:4). The husband is the head of the wife, but he is to love his wife “as Christ also loved the church” (Eph. 5:25), putting her needs before His own. The wife is the keeper of the home (Titus 2:5), but she works hard to make it a place shared with her husband. It’s easier to walk hand in hand when you are meeting in the middle.

Contentment is the ability to remain satisfied with what one has. When you got married, you took yourself “off the market.” You made a commitment (another important “C” word for marriage) to forsake all others and remain faithful to your spouse. Problems at home can cause us to look differently at those around us. The woman at the office is friendly and enjoys your company. The guy you have befriended on social media listens to you and compliments you when your husband won’t. If we aren’t careful, the excitement of something new becomes more desirable than maintaining our commitment to that which is old.

Marriage is a lifetime commitment. We aren’t free to trade in our spouse when we get tired of them. We are to remain together as we face each stage of life together, cherishing what we have built together. Whatever stage our marriage is in, we must learn to be content (Phil. 4:11).

Good marriages don’t just happen. They take work. It is a blessing to see married couples who have weathered the storms of life, even overcoming threats to their marriage along the way. Let’s follow these godly examples and put in the effort to make “happily ever after” a reality.