Parental responsibility seems to resolve itself into two fundamental duties: 1) Teaching, 2) Providing. Parents must regard themselves as teachers. This is God’s assignment.
Genesis 18:19 says of Abraham, “For I have known him to the end that he may command his children and his household after him, that they may keep the way of Jehovah…”
Moses said to the Israelites regarding the words he had commanded, “…and thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children…” (Deuteronomy 6:7).
In 1 Timothy 1:5, Paul writes to Timothy saying that he is “reminded of the unfeigned faith that” was “in” him “which dwelt first in thy grandmother Lois, and thy mother Eunice; and, I am persuaded, in thee also.” He later stated, “But abide thou in the things which thou hast learned, and hast been assured of, knowing of whom thou hast learned them; and that from a babe thou hast known the sacred writings…” (2 Timothy 3:14-15).
Fathers must “nurture” their children “in the chastening and admonition of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4). And children must be given the opportunity to “forsake not the law of” their “mother” (Proverbs 1:8).
Parents are teachers and if anyone is not mature enough to teach children, he/she is not mature enough to have children. “Parenting” (the current fad trend) calls for more than the ability to reproduce.
But, in order to be a teacher, one must be an open-minded learner and observer. “Christians” are, after all “disciples” (Acts 11:26) and they are to be carefully observant of their children. Proverbs 22:6 had previously stated, “Train up a child in the way he should go, and even when he is old he will not depart from it.” The phrase “in the way he should go” is alternately given in the ASV footnote, “conformably to his way,” i.e., the training or instruction “ought to regulate itself according to the stage of life, and its peculiarities; the method ought to be arranged according to the degree of development which the mental and bodily life of the youth has arrived at” (Keil, Commentary… Book of Proverbs, Vol. II., pp. 86-87).
Parents must also regard themselves as providers. This, too, is God’s assignment. Parenthood has time and energy demands that change one’s life dramatically. And these changes concern the well-being of someone else.
Parents should provide a strong marriage for their children. Otherwise they will contribute to their insecurity. “Wives” should “be in subjection unto” their “own husbands as unto the Lord” (Ephesians 5:22) and “Husbands” should “love” their “wives as Christ also loved the church and gave himself up for it…” (Ephesians 5:25). A marriage should be strong before there are children. Children should not be brought into the world in order to make a weak and faltering marriage strong. This is an adult responsibility, not a child’s.
Parents should provide for the physical needs of their children. 1 Timothy 5:8 states, “But if any provide not for his own, and especially they of his own household, he hath denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”
Parents should provide an atmosphere that contributes to the developing and maturing of their children. This will call for, among other things, love. “Let all that ye do be done in love” (1 Corinthians 16:14). There should be an atmosphere of accountability. Parents should show they respect “what” “Jehovah” “doth” “require of” them (Micah 6:8). Parents should work to create an active learning atmosphere as they “grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ” (2 Peter 3:18). And this will result in an atmosphere of dedication to spirituality.
Parents cannot do it all. Children have their part also (see Ephesians 6:1-3). And children can be failures too. But parents have the responsibility of teaching and providing. This is God’s assignment and the children’s need.
- The Preceptor, April 1996