The word "peer" is from the Latin word "par" which means "equal." Thus, one's peers are his equals, friends, or associates. Peer pressure is defined as "social pressure by members of one's peer group to take a certain action, adopt certain values, or otherwise conform in order to be accepted" (dictionary.com). Young adolescents are especially prone to peer pressure. The impact of this pressure can be seen in trends and preferences regarding clothing, speech, and entertainment. It can have a positive impact upon young people by creating an interest in academic success and involvement in sports and other beneficial activities. However, peer pressure is often linked by name to destructive behaviors like drug, alcohol and tobacco use, vandalism, bullying, shoplifting, sexual activity, and the formation of perverted sexual identities.
Not all peer pressure is experienced by adolescents. The parents of the blind man whom Jesus had healed gave in to peer pressure when they refused to answer the Pharisees' questions. "His parents said these things because they feared the Jews, for the Jews had agreed already that if anyone confessed that He was Christ, he would be put out of the synagogue. Therefore his parents said, 'He is of age; ask him'" (John 9:22-23). In fact, this pressure was so strong that many of the rulers themselves gave in to it and refused to confess Christ. "Nevertheless even among the rulers many believed in Him, but because of the Pharisees they did not confess Him, lest they should be put out of the synagogue; for they loved the praise of men more than the praise of God" (John 12:42-43). We can see such pressure influencing many of our civic, social, and business leaders today.
Peer pressure can even be felt on a national level. Israel was not content to be ruled by judges, so they asked Samuel to "make us a king to judge us like all the nations" (1 Sam. 8:5). Israel was often influenced by the heathen nations around them to walk in idolatry. Things aren't any different today. Our nation is subject to the changing whims of society regarding moral standards and decency.
Not all peer pressure is bad. As we indicated above, sometimes this pressure leads people into doing good things. "He who walks with wise men will be wise..." (Prov. 13:20). Christians are to receive exhortation and stirring-up (pressure) from their brethren (peers) to faithfulness, love, and good works (Heb. 3:12-13; 10:24).
The following points can help us overcome negative peer pressure.
1. Personal Accountability. While we feel the pressures placed upon us by our peers, we must remember that we will be judged by God as individuals. "For it is written: 'As I live, says the Lord, every knee shall bow to Me, and every tongue shall confess to God.' So then each of us shall give account of himself to God" (Rom. 14:11-12). While it is easy to get lost in the crowd here on Earth, we will be standing alone on Judgment Day. Those who pressured us to do wrong will not be helping us escape the consequences. Neither will they be taking the blame for us. Be your own person!
2. Loyalty to God. The rulers of the Jews refused to confess Christ because they loved the praise of men more than the praise of God (John 12:34). God was "second place" in their hearts. One way to overcome the pressures of those around us is to make a commitment to put God first in our hearts and lives. While the world will expect us to conform to its standards, the love of Christ will compel us to hold to God's standards (2 Cor. 5:14; Rom. 12:2). After a long life of faithful service to the Lord, won't it be great to hear, "Well done, good and faithful servant... enter into the joy of your Lord" (Matt. 25:21)? Don't let anyone take this future blessing away from you. Put God first!
3. Serving God Above All Others. Jesus felt pressure from those around Him. The scribes and Pharisees often criticized Jesus for not conforming to their traditions. Even His disciples felt the pressure exerted by these men upon Jesus. On one occasion they asked Jesus, "Do You know that the Pharisees were offended when they heard this saying?" (Matt. 15:12). The Lord overcame this pressure by putting the Father's will first in His life. "For I have come down from heaven, not to do My own will, but the will of Him who sent Me" (John 6:38). Paul took the same approach to his life: "For do I now persuade men, or God? Or do I seek to please men? For if I still pleased men, I would not be a bondservant of Christ" (Gal. 1:10). Put God's work first!
4. Seeking First God's Kingdom. "But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you" (Matt. 6:33). Those Jews who refused to confess Christ were not minding the things of God. They were interested in their place in this world. One way a Christian of any age can overcome peer pressure is by making the advancement of the Kingdom of God a priority. We should want to say, with Jesus, "I have glorified You on the earth. I have finished the work which You have given Me to do" (John 17:4). If we do this with the approval of our peers, that is an added blessing. However, if our peers refuse to accept us because of our commitment to God's Kingdom - so be it. Put God's kingdom first!