One of the often overlooked benefits of the local church is the practice of mutual correction that is to take place among people who genuinely care for one another and share a goal of reaching heaven.
When it comes to rebuke, it surely feels more blessed to give than receive, but even giving rebuke is not easy. It is usually accompanied by fears that the receiver will respond defensively or even aggressively and that relationships will be destroyed. For that reason, the temptation is to remain silent, withhold correction, and hope God won't mind. That convenient, cowardly practice, however, diminishes one's own spirituality and leaves the other's in jeopardy.
Cain and Abel were fleshly brothers, of course, but it is that obvious fleshly relationship that forms the basis for the spiritual brotherhood that binds believers in a compact of mutual assistance (Genesis 4:1-9). Cain killed his brother because of envy and had no interest in owning up to his failure when God investigated the murder. Cain tried to cover up his crime with a lie, but in the process, he asked God a pivotal question: "Am I my brother's keeper?"
Jesus Christ identifies himself as the church's good shepherd, deeply concerned for the welfare of every little lamb in his flock, including the ones that are prone to stray or be threatened by wolves. "So it is not the will of my Father who is in heaven that one of these little ones should perish" (Matthew 18:14). As we strive to cooperate in carrying out God's will, it becomes our duty to alert a straying sheep to his condition, even when he is aware of it but seems uninterested. No one who is concerned for real sheep would stand silently by, feigning ignorance, as a wolf sneaked into the fold, but Christians will often turn a blind eye when a brother or sister falls under the same threat.
The prophecy of Ezekiel dealt mainly with the shortcomings of the leaders in Jerusalem during the fall of Judah, but it becomes a metaphor for the church's concern over its own: "My sheep were scattered over all the face of the earth, with none to search or seek for them" (Ezekiel 34:6). We cannot forget about the less noteworthy of our number-the shut-in, the infirm, the discouraged-or those who are succumbing in their struggle as weak, sick, broken, driven away or lost (First Thessalonians 5:14, James 1:27). It is God's will that someone go out and find them, even if they ultimately refuse to return to the fold because they prefer the danger or have already been destroyed.
Many passages describe the Christian's duty in this regard, but few with as much attached obligation as Paul's instructions to the Galatians: "Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ" (Galatians 6:1-2). James adds: "My brothers, if anyone among you wanders from the truth and someone brings him back, let him know that whoever brings back a sinner from his wandering will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins" (James 5:19-20).
Just as often as a Good Samaritan provides money and medicine, he may be called to provide reproof and rebuke. "Rescue those who are being taken away to death; hold back those who are stumbling to the slaughter. If you say, 'Behold, we did not know this,' does not he who weighs the heart perceive it? Does not he who keeps watch over your soul know it, and will he not repay man according to his work" (Proverbs 24:11-12)?
The entire church at Corinth was commanded to chastise one of its own, delivering him to Satan for the destruction of his flesh so that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus and there is ample evidence that this lost sheep returned, repented and was restored (see First Corinthians 5:5 and Second Corinthians 2:5-9). That church was obedient in all things, including correction and even the withdrawal of fellowship from the unworthy. If all this rebuke is taking place, eventually you are going to find yourself on the receiving end and you must be ready to respond with humility and possibly even contrition and gratitude that someone cared enough to speak up.
The Bible is full of examples.
David was rebuked by Nathan, told, "Thou art the man" who had stolen Uriah's lamb of a wife. David could have chopped off Nathan's head or sent him into the dungeon, but instead he said, "I have sinned against the Lord" (Second Samuel 12:13) and he wrote the wonderfully contrite words of Psalm 51. In those unpleasant moments when we realize that rebuke has hit its mark and its mark was on our own backs the whole time, repent and be restored without resistance or reluctance.
Peter was rebuked by Jesus on several occasions, including when he denied the Lord and instantly looked up to see his savior's suffering face. Peter rejoined the disciples, who were just as guilty as he was, and waited for Jesus to guide them further; he did not quit the faith or in embarrassment give up on people who now knew for certain that he was far from perfect.
Apollos was rebuked by Aquila and Priscilla for unwittingly preaching a defunct, misleading doctrine on baptism (Acts 18:24-28). Apollos's change of heart is so obvious that Luke skips over it to show us the result-his preaching became even truer and thus more powerful, so that brethren could continue to recommend and use him. Sometimes it is harder for the teacher to make correction than the student, and all because of pride-too proud to admit wrong and to proud to make it right.
It becomes matter of having a correctible attitude, similar the convertible attitude we desire in the unbelievers we try to teach. The Bible, however, says that pride goes before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall (Proverbs 16:18). This is why "They hate him who reproves in the gate, and they abhor him who speaks the truth" (Amos 5:10), because "When you discipline a man with rebukes for sin, you consume like a moth what is dear to him; surely all mankind is a mere breath" (Psalm 39:11)!
No injury is more painful than a wound to one's pride, but the Lord has never given allowances for proud reactions; when rebuked, we must answer humbly and give careful consideration to the prospect that maybe the rebuke is accurate. A wise man who is rebuked for an actual shortcoming will love the one who corrected him, but when you turn to denials and defensiveness, you show yourself proud and foolish (see Proverbs 9:8).
Open-mindedness is a valuable asset, because if you were unaware of your sin prior to being corrected, you just might answer without thinking things over first and end up perpetuating your sin out of fear of appearing doubly wrong now. The meek inherit the earth, in part, because they are calm enough to be chastened and to truly behave as though they understand that it is all right to acknowledge imperfections because everybody is already aware of them as it is. While some defend themselves by claiming innocence falsely, others choose the tactic of lashing out at the friend who reproves them, calling attention to his shortcomings to prevail in some presumed competition for chief sinner, but that is not the time to change the subject when your soul is at stake.
It is essential to note, however, that not everything I disagree with or find objectionable is actually a question of sin. Although I might have an opening to offer my wisdom and experience to someone, if it is not a question of right versus wrong, I must be prepared for the possibility that my brother will choose a different way than mine. Having the maturity to recognize the difference between matters of the faith and matters of liberty, where judgments often differ, is important to the unity and stability of the church, where disparate peoples are assembled for a higher purpose than imposing orthodoxy where only opinion is involved. In such cases, I may choose to remain silent, or to offer my judgment so long as it seems welcome, but I must be careful not to express such arrogant disapproval that anyone should judge a matter of personal liberty different from me. If I do not have book, chapter, and verse at hand, I must not become a meddler, creating new categories of sin to condemn people for my own satisfaction.
A correctible attitude is at once humble, meek, open-minded, and non-defensive. The salve of rebuke, repentance and mercy can only be applied when the wound is laid open.
- watchmanmag.com