"And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord" (Eph. 6:4).

Bringing children up in the training and admonition of the Lord requires faith, intent, and perseverance. It has been correctly observed that raising children "isn't for wimps." For some, the level of the challenge is an excuse to compromise, while for others it is a perfecting and purifying upward calling.

Tests of godliness are greatest when they involve close relationships. The closer the relationship, the greater the opportunity for epic failure and spectacular success. This is why the sacrifice of young Isaac was such a faith demonstration for Abraham (Gen. 22; Heb. 11:17). Parents must not allow the bond they enjoy, and even crave, with their children to compromise the bond (fellowship) they have with God.

When a child is very young it is hard to imagine it could be anything but a joy to "bring them up." However, when a child develops a will of its own, parents at times must choose between God's will and the child's will. Often it will be physically and emotionally easier to leave them to their own devices. Proverbs warns that this "child left to himself brings shame..." (Prov. 29:15). Although it can be exasperating and create fissures in our relationships, we must not waver in our efforts to "bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord."

Bill Cosby jokes that a parent's true goal is really just one thing: quiet. Unfortunately there is more truth to this than we may like to admit. It is certainly quieter physically, emotionally, and relationship-wise to allow our children to have their way. Training and discipline require effort and sometimes conflict, both of which we usually try to avoid in life. It's at times like these that we need to remember that doing nothing is doing something! "He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him promptly" (Prov. 13:24).

Children will attempt to wear you down. They learn early the effectiveness of crying, then tantrums, then pouting, then begging, then threatening and shaming. They are testing if "no" means "no." They are testing if this is the "training of the Lord" or just the parent's selfish whim.

Children are supposed to be learning that honoring their father and mother is "...the first commandment with promise: that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth" (Eph. 6:2-3). They are being taught to obey "...in the Lord, for this is right" (Eph. 6:1). It isn't about them always understanding why right is right. It certainly isn't about them always agreeing that something is right. They are learning that you do things because they are right.

Right things aren't changed by crying, tantrums, pouting, begging, threating and shaming. When such reactions wear parents down, resulting in compromise, children learn that "right" can be negotiated, compromised and changed. In the end, parental compromise of what is right in the name of peace can produce in children a sense of lawlessness and anarchy which touches both their physical and spiritual lives.

We're to "bring up" our children, but if we're not careful they can "bring us down." Perhaps the greatest threat we face is in allowing parental love and loyalty to be perverted so as to train and admonish parents in the ways of the world. For example, parents may swallow the line: "I love my child too much to tell them 'no'" or "I couldn't bear to discipline my child." Although these wear the mask of love, they are not of God, but of the world.

We know that parents are tempted to change their convictions about modest clothing because their children want to be considered in style, attractive or popular. Heart strings are pulled when children say they are considered weird because they can't stay out all night, go to a dance, or go to an immoral movie. Parents may see tears when they refuse to buy into the latest materialistic trend, opting for contentment with what they have. Refusing to miss church assemblies for school events, sports, and vacations will seem unreasonable to most, but not to godly parents. Even in worst case scenarios, teaching and rebuke will not be opposed, moral teaching like God's law on divorce and remarriage will not be rewritten, and church discipline will not be rejected by Christians, even when application is made to their children. And when children decide that the God of the Bible is too strict or politically incorrect, godly parents will not welcome the diluted idol god invented by modern religion to deceive children and parents alike.

Parents of faith are convinced that application of God's will to their children's lives is right and therefore must not be compromised. Parents of faith are intent in their unwavering active training of their children in the way of God because it is what is best for them. Parents of faith persevere, holding to the application of truth no matter what the real or threatened consequence to self, child, or others.

Godly parents bring their children to Jesus because there is no other One to "bring them up." "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life" (John 6:68). Parents, bring up your children in the training and admonition of the Lord. Do not let your children bring you, and them, down in the training and admonition of the world.

- Think On These Things, April-June 2011