Teaching Children to Behave in Worship
By Connie Adams

When you take a large bag full of books, cars, dolls, stuffed animals, and cookies, you are giving out the wrong signal. I have seen children soon discard all of these and still act like brats and disrupt the whole service. When you put them on the floor to play under the benches, or allow them to run up and down the pew, or you run in and out with them to pacify them and then give them a cookie when you take them out, or even worse, allow them to make a garbage dump out of the pew and floor for several yards around you, you are not training your children to reverence God. You are teaching them to show contempt for both God and man. And by the way, if you could get a cookie for creating such a disturbance as to be taken out, would you not soon learn how to go about getting a cookie?

I have seen children old enough to go to school sit in services with comic books, or other secular books, and I have seen some do school work while the gospel is being preached. I have seen children who are old enough to hold a song book and learn to sing, allowed to sit while the whole congregation is asked to stand, or worse yet, to make a bed and go to sleep, rather than sitting up and being respectful. When parents allow this, they are teaching their children, all right; they are teaching them to dishonor God and show contempt for others. When they get older, they will move to the back rows, if you allow it, and there they will sleep, laugh with other unruly young people, pass pictures, write notes, flirt, and wander in and out to the water fountain and rest room.

What do you do with a child, past the infant stage, who is cranky and unresponsive to warnings? I first heard this formula from Gary Ogden of Plant City, Florida. He is exactly right, and I pass it on to you for what it is worth. After trying briefly to get things under control (and I emphasize BRIEFLY; don't sit there so long you destroy the effect of the whole service), then this is what you do:

Well, you say, suppose that does not work? The next thing you do is:

You think that won't work? Of course it works. My own children soon learned that it was not such fun to have to go out and that it was much more pleasant to stay inside and be quiet. I learned the same lesson as a small child. My parents before me learned the same lesson in the same way.

The trouble is that we have too many who rely too heavily on permissive psychologists' instructions for training children. God's word contains principles that will help with this problem. Consider the following:

Let no one suppose that this writer advocates brutal treatment of children. These days, we are all sensitive to the subject of child abuse, and well we should be. But measured, reasonable correction that emphatically makes the point that certain behavior is unacceptable and will not be tolerated is much needed. The Lord placed in the hands of parents the responsibility for training. One day, he will call us to account for how we managed the task. If you want your children to grow up to reverence God and obey His will, then you MUST START TODAY to teach them respect for worship of God. It will take time, effort, and patience, but it is worth all of that and more!

All I can say about Brother Adams article, which he wrote several years ago, is a hearty "AMEN!" When I was a small boy I learned very early on that being taken out was no picnic! My dad and my mother would take me out, give me a spanking and take me back in. Yes, I was stubborn but in no time at all I understood it was better for me to sit still and be quiet during the services. I did the same with my own children.

Today, parents seem to believe that it is impossible for children to sit still for 40 or 50 minutes. How long are they willing to sit still in front of a video game or movie? Sadly, many parents give in to their children. The battle is lost before it begins. What message do we send our children when we bring a ton of games, coloring books, toys, and food to the services? What message do we send when we allow them to run up and down in the pews and distract others? Should we allow them to talk out loud, laugh, and cut up during song services, prayer, or even during preaching or the Lord's Supper? The message we send is: "What you want is more important than worshipping God." Parents, this is the wrong message.

Over the years, I've noted that the small children who were allowed to behave as though church was play time, become older kids who still can't sit still during the services without going to the restroom, getting a drink, or just going to the back and walking around. These are the ones who cannot sit and listen to a gospel sermon (no matter the subject or the preacher) without talking with another teenager sitting next to them. As a preacher, I don't take it personally; it is God for whom they are exhibiting disrespect.

The religious world's answer to the problem-children's church. Here, the young ones are separated from their parents, and others watch them play while the parents participate in the auditorium events. The parents receive a buzzer in case the child becomes too much for the volunteers to handle! There's no discipline or training--just more time for fun. This, of course, sends the child the message that his needs are more important and must be met. The child-not the parents--is running things.

I am amazed at what parents allow their children to do during worship services. Some knock over the communion trays, write in or tear pages out of song books and Bibles, chew gum that winds up under the seat or in the carpet! We can do better and God expects us to do so. He assigned parents the duty of training their children. No matter how much they rebel, it is wrong to give in to them. We're waging war for their souls. (KMG)


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