Unfortunately, during the past few weeks, I have learned of two sets of parents who are broken-hearted over their children's practices. In both cases, the local church has marked the child for his/her unfaithfulness. In Proverbs 17:21 and 25, we read of the pain felt by one whose child has left the Lord.

"He that begetteth a fool (doeth it) to his sorrow; and the father of a fool hath no joy... A foolish son is a grief to his father, and bitterness to her that bare him."

Some of the greatest pain must be that felt by those whose children are away from the Lord. There is no more graphic example of the wayward son than Absalom (2 Samuel 18). David's son had begun to compete with his father for the throne. He gathered a following, pronounced himself king in Hebron, and marched on Jerusalem. Not willing to have Jerusalem destroyed and the people killed, David fled over the Mount of Olives as the people threw rocks, spat, and cursed at him. With his friends, he crossed the river Jordan over to Mahanaiam. Before the battle that ensued, David said to his captains, "Deal gently for my sake with the young man, even with Absalom." (2 Samuel 18:5) David knew he needed a victory and that some had to die, but his heart went out to his son Absalom who was leading the rebellion against him. When the battle ended, word came that David's forces had won; but David wasn't really concerned about the nature of the battle or even the success that had been had in the field. His question was, "Is it well with the young man Absalom." (2 Samuel 18:29) David grieved over the death of his son, "O my son Absalom, my son, my son Absalom! Would I had died for thee, O Absalom, my son, my son." (2 Samuel 18:33)

Why do young people go astray, rebel, and leave home? There are several reasons:

• Sometimes their homes are so bad, they can't stay.
  
  
• Inconsistent or unreasonable discipline may cause a child to leave home. Parents must learn the difference between abuse and the rod of correction (Proverbs 22:15; cf. Proverbs 29:15, 17).
  
  
• Sometimes children leave because of chaos and confusion, bitterness between husband and wife, between siblings, between parents and children.
  
  
• Perhaps the home is a good one that will not tolerate drugs, alcohol, immorality, homosexuality, pregnancy, or other unacceptable choices made by the children.
  
  

There are many reasons. Sometimes, it is the parents' fault; sometimes it is not. In David's case, the fault was partially his. David's sin with Bathsheba had weakened him and had destroyed the respect, not only of the heathen, but also most certainly of his family. This hindered his exercising the kind of discipline and control over his family that he should have.

What can we do for our young people? The apostle Paul, who considered himself Timothy's spiritual father, gave Timothy specific instructions and warnings to prevent him from casting aside his faith:

1. Be godly. "But reject profane and old wives' fables, and exercise yourself toward godliness. For bodily exercise profits a little, but godliness is profitable for all things, having promise of the life that now is and of that which is to come." (1 Timothy 4:7-8) Paul wanted Timothy to have a devout, sincere faith, rather than just going through the motions of Christianity.
   
   
2. Trust in God. "For to this end we both labor and suffer reproach, because we trust in the living God, who is the Savior of all men, especially of those who believe." (1 Timothy 4:10)
   
   
3. Be a faithful example in all areas of life. "Let no one despise your youth, but be an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, in purity." (1 Timothy 4:12)
   
   
4. Have a completely dedicated faith, as opposed to half-hearted. "Till I come, give attention to reading, to exhortation, to doctrine. Do not neglect the gift that is in you, which was given to you by prophecy with the laying on of the hands of the eldership. Meditate on these things; give yourself entirely to them, that your progress may be evident to all." (1 Timothy 4:13-15)
   
   
5. Take heed to yourself and the doctrine, i.e., practice what you preach. "Take heed to yourself and to the doctrine. Continue in them, for in doing this you will save both yourself and those who hear you." (1 Timothy 4:16)
   
   
6. Flee sin and follow after righteousness. "But you, O man of God, flee these things and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, gentleness." (1 Timothy 6:11)
   
   
7. Keep the commandments until the Day of the Lord. "That you keep this commandment without spot, blameless until our Lord Jesus Christ's appearing." (1 Timothy 6:14)
   
   
8. Do not be ashamed of your faith, nor of the gospel; be bold (2 Timothy 1:8,11-14).
   
   
9. Be diligent. "Be diligent to present yourself approved to God, a worker who does not need to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth. (2 Timothy. 2: 15)
   
   

Today's children need to hear and give heed to these things; for indeed, dangers are ever present.

There is the danger that their faith may not genuinely be theirs. It is possible for children to believe certain things just because Mom and Dad believe them, instead of having individual conviction that that they "learn" of God (John 6:44-45). True faith comes when an individual hears and believes (Romans 10:17). Too many are not converted to Christ, or else they are in error simply because they choose to carry on the "family religion."

Second, it's easy to take faithfulness for granted. Assuming that just because grandparents and parents are faithful, the children will also be faithful is a fallacy. "The righteousness of the righteous shall be upon him, and the wickedness of the wicked shall be upon him." (Ezekiel 18:20) The Bible clearly teaches that one can fall from grace, no matter how good the environment in which he was reared (Cf. Galatians 5: 4; 1 Corinthians 10:12).

Third, some never learn true commitment to Christ. They view Christianity on the basis of having been baptized and regular attendance at worship services. However, being "subject to Christ" (Ephesians 5:24) means "to line-up under" and denotes complete submission and obedience to authority.

Fourth, some fail to personally study God's Word for themselves. Christians, from the beginning, must "long for the spiritual milk..." (1 Peter 2:2), so their faith will grow.

Fifth, parents can become lax and lacking in diligence in providing proper spiritual training (Ephesians 6:1-4). Taking our children to worship, as important as that is, does not substitute for providing a godly atmosphere in the home, with regular Bible study, accompanied by a good example. The "do as I say, not as I do" approach doesn't influence children to serve God.

Both parents and children need to compare themselves to the standard of God's word (2 Corinthians 13:5) and serve God out of personal conviction, continuing in spiritual growth (2 Peter 1:5-10).