The man and his wife are both Christians. However, their marriage is far removed from what God intended (cf. Ephesians 5:22-33). They live in different states, and their time together amounts to approximately one month (if that) out of twelve. Neither desires to live where the other is living. This is the "backdrop" of the life of one man with whom I recently visited because of my concern for him.

He spoke of his depression, and the fact that he had begun drinking beer. He spoke of his loneliness, and that he was thinking of divorcing his wife. Knowing full well the results of such an action, he spoke of "giving up the church" so he wouldn't be lonely.

Knowing full well the truth that denounces such an action is not the same as knowing full well its consequences; for as a pond's ripples, caused by throwing a small pebble, spread outward, so too does sin. Truly, this is a sad picture of loneliness. As one might consider the different aspects of a painting, consider the different aspects of this man's submission to his loneliness:

1. The Effect on Brethren: It would cause them to follow the command: "Now we command you, brethren, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that ye withdraw yourselves from every brother that walketh disorderly, and not after the tradition which he received of us." (2 Thessalonians 3:6) In this man's mind, withdrawal might be the only consequence of his actions. But what if it isn't? What if the ripples spread further? What if some brethren, seeing the boldness of his actions, decide to follow them? How many have lost their souls because they copied the actions of others? And how many have been saved? "Take heed unto thyself, and unto the doctrine; continue in them: for in doing this thou shalt both save thyself, and them that hear thee." (1 Timothy 4:16)
   
   Now, substitute the word "actions" for "word" in the following Scripture: "And their word will eat as doth a canker:...and overthrow the faith of some." (2 Timothy 2:17,18) Jesus taught, "He that is not with Me is against Me; and he that gathereth not with Me scattereth abroad." (Matthew 12:30) This man's sad picture of loneliness may seem clear to him, but it can become awfully congested.
   
   
2. The Effect on the Marriage: Jesus laid down the marriage law. "And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her that is put away doth commit adultery." (Matthew 19:9) At least three souls--this man, his wife, and the one he would marry--would be affected. Not only would his loneliness destroy him (and that may be all he is able to see), it would also lead other souls into hell. His first wife could also end up in an adulterous relationship; and then there would be four. And what if there are children? The ripples could extend far beyond this man's earthly life. Sadness multiplies.
   
   
3. The Effect on Families: If they are Christians (and indeed, some are), it would mean the heartache of withdrawal. However, many times a sad truth repeats itself when a church applies 2 Thessalonians 3:6. The Scripture suddenly becomes "cloudy" and not easily understood. Supposedly, we find loopholes where none previously existed. Failure to follow God's Word results in sin. How many more will become sad pictures of one man's loneliness? And what of those who are not Christians (and there are many)?
   
   
4. The Effect on the World: With regard to why he had not been attending services, this man said: "I don't want to be a hypocrite in the church." I replied, "Why not just be a Christian?" This man had, in the past, taught others the Truth, even leading one soul to salvation.
   
   Many in the world know that he is a Christian, and how might his actions affect them? "Thou therefore which teachest another, teachest thou not thyself?...Thou that sayest a man should not commit adultery, dost thou commit adultery?...For the name of God is blasphemed among the Gentiles through you, as it is written." (Romans 2:21,22,24)
   
   God is already blasphemed among many in the world; but how much more so when a Christian falls? Loneliness can be hard to suffer, "But let none of you suffer as a murderer, or as a thief, or as an evildoer, or as a busybody in other men's matters." (1 Peter 4:15) NOW, how many souls could be affected?
   
   Loneliness is not new. Many others, including faithful brethren, have suffered from loneliness. Jesus knew loneliness; Paul knew loneliness; so too did many Old Testament characters.
   • Going back to Paul, we read: "At my first answer, no man stood with me, but all forsook me: I pray God that it may not be laid to their charge. Notwithstanding, the Lord stood with me, and strengthened me;..." (2 Timothy 4:16,17)
   • Jesus promised, "Come unto Me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you, and learn of Me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For My yoke is easy, and My burden is light." (Matthew 11:28-30)
   • Peter wrote, "Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time: casting all your care upon Him; for He careth for you." (1 Peter 5:6-7)
     
     
   Loneliness can be, and often is, a part of the cross that Jesus asks all Christians to carry. Carrying a cross is not easy, but note again Jesus' promise given above. I do not have to carry it alone. Nevertheless, Jesus taught in Matthew 10:38-39: "And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after Me is not worthy of Me. He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for My sake shall find it." Truly, one may find "life" here. He may swallow up his loneliness in sin, but in the end, sin will swallow him.
   
   "Then Peter began to say unto Him, lo, we have left all, and have followed Thee. And Jesus answered and said, verily I say unto you, there is no man that hath left house, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for My sake, and the gospel's, but he shall receive an hundredfold now in this time, houses, and brethren, and sisters, and mothers, and children, and lands, with persecutions; and in the world to come eternal life." (Mark 10:28-30) In Christ, loneliness can be "swallowed" up in service. We can help the needy, edify the weak, encourage the strong, seek the fallen and lost, be Christians. That picture is worth painting. Think of all the souls who could be involved in this scenario.
   
   The sad truth is: unless this man's heart changes, he will enter a pathway from which he cannot attain salvation (cf. Matthew 7:13-14). I do not know how many souls this sad picture of loneliness will affect, but I do know that it will be many more than this man anticipated. He sees only himself, and that is his problem, and the problem of many others. They are full of themselves, when they ought to be full of God.
   
   Jesus came "to open (our) eyes, and to turn (us) from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan unto God, that (we) may receive forgiveness of sins and inheritance among them which are sanctified by faith that is in (Him)." (Acts 26:18) Our "eyes" must be able to see beyond this world's fleeting nature and into our Savior's love. "For we walk by faith, not by sight..." (2 Corinthians 5:7) For it is love that "...beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things--even loneliness," that can be overcome with God's help!

I also know this Christian. During the past two years, he has lost both parents. He is in one place, and his wife in another. Neither understands the true meaning of love in a marriage. May God help them understand the value of their relationship with God and each other. (KMG)