You will go, regardless of the weather.
You will go, regardless of the condition of your body.
There will be beautiful flowers, but you won't enjoy them.
You will go, regardless of how your family feels.
The minister may say many good things, but you won't hear them.
There will be beautiful music, but you won't hear it.
There will be heartfelt prayers, but they will not touch your heart.
Friends and relatives will be there, but you won't worship with them.
You will go, no matter how many hypocrites are there.
You will go, no matter how much you are needed at home or at work.
You will receive no blessing from the service.
You won't feel concerned about your clothes.
You will never again have to decide whether to attend worship services.
You won't complain about the length of the sermon.
You won't be distracted by what's going on around you.
For the first time, you can truly say "I didn't get anything out of the service."

--Selected and edited--