The home, as God designed it, is a place where there is love, where there is respect for God's authority, where God's word is taught and obeyed, and where every member influences for good. In such homes, there is happiness. Deviation from God's pattern expresses disrespect for His divine way and leads to unhappiness, condemnation, and failure to accomplish the home's God-given duties. Someone has correctly said, "A generation of noble people is passing from the scene, leaving great responsibility in the hands of younger people." That responsibility must be accepted soberly. In this lesson in this study series, we consider some essentials for harmonious and happy homes.

Love must abound. Indeed, "love is the bond of perfectness." (Co!ossians 3:14) Husbands are to love their wives (Ephesians 5:25). Wives are to be taught (and to learn) to love their husbands and their children (Titus 2:4). Loveless marriages are unfortunate and tragic, resulting in nagging, fussing, and fighting. Repentance (not divorce and remarriage) is the solution. The existence of love in the home is not optional. It is commanded! Love is not something into or out of which one falls; rather, it is learned and practiced behavior (Cf. Titus 2:4).

"Love suffereth long, (and) is kind; love envieth not; love vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not its own, is not provoked, taketh not account of evil; rejoiceth not in unrighteousness, but rejoiceth with the truth; beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Love never faileth..." (1 Corinthians 13:4-8) Let us strive to learn and apply love's attributes. It will go a long way toward promoting harmonious and happy homes.

Peace must prevail. Kindness is commanded. Proverbs 19:22 says, "That which maketh a man to be desired is his kindness; and a poor man is better than a liar." (Cf. Proverbs 31:26) The apostle Paul commanded, "And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ forgave you. (Ephesians 4:31,32) We apply this principle to other realms and often forget about applying it at home. Matthew 7:12 tells us how to keep peace and harmony. "All things therefore whatsoever ye would that men should do unto you, even so do ye also unto them: for this is the law and the prophets."

Confession of faults is also a crucial part of keeping peace in the home (Cf. James 6:16). Some are unwilling to admit they're wrong, much less say, "I'm sorry." When we're asked to forgive, we should extend forgiveness (Cf. Ephesians 4:32; Matthew 18:35). Jesus said, "But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." (Matthew 6:15) Be assured, you will never be requested to forgive anything that exceeds what you have asked your heavenly Father to forgive.

Discipline must be maintained. Discipline and correction are vital for the good of children and the joy of parents. Consider the wise man's words,

• "He that spareth his rod hateth his son; but he that loveth him chasteneth him diligently." (Proverbs 13:24)
  
  
• "Foolishness is bound up in the heart of the child; but the rod of correction will drive it far from him." (Proverbs 22:15)
  
  
• "Withhold not correction from the child; for if thou beat him with the rod, he will not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell." (Proverbs 23:13,14)
  
  
• "The rod and reproof give wisdom; but a child left to himself causeth shame to his mother." (Proverbs 29:15)
  
  
• "Correct thy son and he will give thee rest; yea, he will give delight to thy soul." (Proverbs 29:17)

Eli of old endured much sorrow because "he restrained not his children." (1 Samuel 3:11-14) Consider the Old-Testament Law regarding treatment of rebellious sons. They were to be stoned to death (Deuteronomy 21:18-21).

God's word must be taught. If we want our homes to be happy; pleasant; and moreover, pleasing to God, we must teach our children. Moses' Law stressed this continually (Deuteronomy 6:6-9; Exodus 12:24-28). In Judges 2:10, we read about the consequences for their failure to do so, "And also all that generation were gathered unto their fathers: and there arose another generation after them, that knew not Jehovah, nor yet the work which he had wrought for Israel." Today's parents are commanded to bring up our children in the "chastening and admonition of the Lord." (Ephesians 6:4)

Finally, what is taught must be practiced. The attitude, "Do as I say, not as I do" is unproductive. We must maintain proper examples. Children learn from examples. Unfortunately, they see our inconsistency. Jesus severely rebuked the scribes and the Pharisees saying, "All things therefore whatsoever they bid you, these do and observe: but do not ye after their works; for they say, and do not." (Matthew 23:3) Such hypocrisy! If you have been unfaithful, don't be surprised if your children are unfaithful in their attendance, Bible study, or general service to the Lord. Rest assured, they learn what you teach them. When one noble generation passes, let it not be said of the next, they "knew not God, nor yet the work which he had wrought for Israel."