The Home
By Micky Galloway

The home is the oldest social institution. It is God's first nursery, the ultimate foundation for an orderly society. Following God's will promotes the happiness of all who occupy the home. In the home, there are varied relationships, each of which has divinely ordained responsibilities. The family will be as God designed it when each member fulfills his God-given functions and duties. Discord and trouble come when family members step out of place.

The family unit is based on the husband-wife relationship. Each marriage partner should always seek to know and practice God's will toward the other. This principle is also true in the parent-child relationship, and it encompasses every facet of every human relationship, if we wish to experience the success and joy intended by our Creator. Indeed, "The fear of Jehovah is the beginning of wisdom." (Psalm 111:10)

There must be recognition and acceptance of the Bible's pattern for the home. Worldly wisdom (1 Corinthians 1:20) often expresses itself through sociological, psychological, and physiological reasons for certain living standards. However appropriate many of these may be in a given instance, they are not always dependable. Worldly wisdom has often been erroneous. Bible wisdom is never wrong!

Respect for the divine order of authority must be maintained. The family relationship is a relationship of authority, and submission to authority (Ephesians 5:22-24; 6:1-3). The husband is to be the head of the wife, and the wife is to be in subjection to the husband. This should be a willing submission. The Scriptures teach "...the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God." (1 Corinthians 11:3) Worldly wisdom can never improve on God's order.

Husband and wife complement one another (Genesis 2:18-25). The husband's love for his wife is comparable to Christ's love for the church and to the husband's love for his own body (Ephesians 5:25-30). This demands that he, at all times, be considerate of her welfare, even when it jeopardizes his own personal interests, health, and life. The wife's love for, and submission to, her husband demand that she yield to his decisions in the final analysis and adapt to his way of life "in the Lord," or "as is fitting in the Lord." (Colossians 3:18) This means that the husband's will must correspond to the Lord's. The husband must be conscious of his role as the home's spiritual leader. God created his wife to be a "help meet for him" (Genesis 2 18), which means she is his helper, appropriate for, and adapted to, him.

Children must submit to their parents' authority (Ephesians 6:1-4). "Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right." (vs. 1) While both parents are under consideration in the context, the father bears the primary responsibility for nurturing and admonishing the children "in the Lord." "And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but nurture them in the chastening and admonition of the Lord." (vs. 4) Parents must be patient, while demanding respect. Now and then, parents make mistakes in judgment; but age, experience, and maturity bring wisdom that cannot be found in the young. Parents are commanded to bring up their children in "the nurture and admonition of the Lord."

This demands training and discipline, through which the child learns by experience, as well as by instruction. In the home, children are to learn, through experience and teaching:

Please be assured my friend, it takes TIME to instill these things in the heart of a child. The pressures of our modern society can and often do take precedence over our children's training. We cannot afford to let Satan win any battles where our children are concerned.

The family relationship is one of influence and example (1 Peter. 3:1-6). Some can, by our examples, be led to salvation (Matthew 5:16). Others, perhaps even our own companions or children, can be led to eternal condemnation. Today, we are continually subjected to the evil influence of unprincipled living as we see sin glamorized through television, radio, movies, magazines, and literature in general. Surely, we must be honest enough to admit that we absorb more of this than we think. Unless we diligently strive (firm limits) to keep such distractions in proper perspective, spiritual growth is nearly impossible, and we will lose our souls and our homes. If you are a father, please accept willingly your responsibility to set a godly, faithful example before those members of your family whose spiritual lives you lead and direct. Wives, please support your husbands in these efforts.

The failure to create and maintain a loving atmosphere is the primary hindrance to the home's being as God would have it. Love doesn't just happen! Infatuation may be some glowing, "drip from the ceiling" type feeling, but the attributes of real love are learned (1 Corinthians 13:4-8). Love grows, and it demands time, nurturing, and just plain hard work to keep it alive, especially in today's chaotic, pressure-driven world.

God wants the home to be a place of love, where His order of authority is respected, His word is taught, and every member has an influence for good. There will be happiness in such a family. Any deviation from the pattern will lead to unhappiness, condemnation, and failure to accomplish the home's God-given duties.

Let us lay aside other plans and commit ourselves to full participation in the worship and work of the local congregation. God ordained such for our good and His glory. It will strengthen us and help us direct our homes toward happiness.

The word "home" is one of the most pleasant words in the human vocabulary. Good homes certainly consist of more than brick, mortar, wood, and glass. A good home can be in a tent, or even a mud hut. Perhaps we place too much emphasis on a material house. Unfortunately, many people who live in nice houses do not have good homes.

Good homes begin with commitment. Commitment to God, the One who instituted marriage, is essential to the establishment of a good home. Matthew 6:33 says, "But seek ye first his kingdom, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you." A good home must begin with a clear understanding of the permanency of marriage. Marriage is a life-long commitment that should not be entered without serious thought. God hates divorce (Malachi 2:15,16) and allows only one exception, i.e., the innocent one may put away a companion who is guilty of fornication. Then, and only then, can there be remarriage without sin.

"But I say unto you, that everyone that putteth away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, maketh her an adulteress: and whosoever shall marry her when she is put away committeth adultery." (Matthew 5:32)

"And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and he that marrieth her when she is put away committeth adultery." (Matthew 19:9).

Marriages fail when there is a lack of Bible teaching on this subject or a lack of respect for God and His word. If we want to have good homes, We must respect God and His law governing marriage.

In a good home, both parents are Christians. This is more than just wearing the name; it involves being the person the name suggests--Christ in you. When we deprive our children of this blessing, we neglect our responsibility to provide what is best for them. It may be necessary to deprive them of toys, luxuries, or advanced education, but don't deprive them of a godly mother or father. Young people, marry a mate who wants to go to heaven more than anything else! Such a person will help you have a happy home. Convert your friend before you marry. Unfortunately, many homes are wreaked with heartache because the parents do not share the same spiritual goals for themselves or their children. This constant division can destroy our children's souls.

In good homes, a husband or father is the head of his household. Ephesians 5:23 says, "For the husband is the head of the wife, and Christ also is the head of the church." Verse 33 says, "Nevertheless, do ye also severally love each one his own wife even as himself; and (let) the wife (see) that she fear her husband." The husband is not a figurehead or a puppet, but the head. This does not mean he is a brutish or authoritarian ruler (Cf. 1 Peter 3:7). He loves his wife and honors and cherishes her as he does his own body. In this way, godly fathers teach their children much about marriage. In a good home, the wife and mother is the "queen." Paul described her as the "keeper at home." (Titus 2:5) Good fathers are faithful to the Lord. Children notice indifference toward spiritual things, and the entire family becomes discouraged.

In good homes, parents recognize and fulfill their God-given responsibility to "train" their children. Ephesians 6:4 says, "And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but nurture them in the chastening and admonition of the Lord." This requires spending time with our children studying the Bible and praying, as well as living godly lives before them. For those who do not yet have children, prepare yourselves daily by spending time with your companion reading and studying God's word. In spending time with our children, it is important to consider proper recreation for them in the home. Recreation is not the church's responsibility. Many parents do not know their children's friends, or where their children are. Take advantage of your opportunities to direct them toward wholesome recreation.

In good homes, children are taught to obey. "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right." {Ephesians 6:1} "Listen to your father who begot you, And do not despise your mother when she is old." {Proverbs 23:22} Children are a blessing to parents who assume their responsibility to teach them to obey.

These characteristics yield cooperation, harmony, peace, joy, and love. Bickering, arguing, strife, and bitterness do not exist in godly homes. Is your home a godly home? If not, is it your fault? What do you need to change? Will you accept the challenge in order to please the Lord and reap the benefits of a happy home?


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