Most of us recognize that many children aren't raised properly. The evidence is all around us in the juvenile crime, rebellion, and disdain for authority that often is the "norm." But few people, especially parents, see how and why children aren't being raised properly.

The Bible, contrary to what most people believe, lays the primary responsibility for child training at the feet of fathers. "And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." (Ephesians 6:4) But most men abdicate this duty to their wives.

God commanded children to "obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord." (Colossians 3:20) This obedience, however, must be taught, and training must accompany the teaching. It is the training concept that many parents fail to understand. We learn from Proverbs 22:6 a general truth: "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it." But what does it mean to "train" a child. Some parents wrongfully assume that training is the same thing as "teaching" or "instructing." Certainly, teaching occurs in conjunction with training, but they are not the same.

Training involves practice, repetition, and habituation. Once a parent teaches a principle, that parent must see to it that the child practices the principle until it becomes a habit in his life. It is only at this point that the truth in Proverbs 22:6 is achieved.

We ignore these principles to our own peril. "Chasten your son while there is hope, and do not set your heart on his destruction," says Proverbs 19:18. And Proverbs 22:15 declares, "Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; the rod of correction will drive it far from him." So, training sometimes involves more than instruction.

All that we have written so far comes from God's word. But even the worldly wise know much the same things. The Houston, Texas Police Department once offered some insight into how not to raise children. Newspaper columnist Ann Landers published their words in her column. Twelve rules for raising delinquent children:

1. Begin in infancy to give the child everything he wants. In this way, he will grow up to believe the world owes him a living.
2. When he picks up bad words, laugh at him. This will make him think he's cute. It will also encourage him to pick up "cuter" phrases that will blow off the top of your head later.
3. Never give him any spiritual training. Wait till he is 21, and then let him "decide for himself."
4. Avoid use of the word "wrong." It may cause him to develop a guilt complex. This will condition him to believe, later, when he is arrested for stealing a car, that society is against him and he is being persecuted.
5. Pick up everything--books, shoes and clothing--he leaves lying around. Do everything for him so he will be experienced in throwing all responsibility onto others.
6. Let him read any printed matter on which he can get his hands. Be careful that the silverware and drinking glasses are sterilized, but let his mind feast on garbage.
7. Quarrel frequently in your child's presence. In this way, he will not be too shocked when the home breaks up later.
8. Give a child all the spending money he wants. Never let him earn his own. Why should he have things as tough as you did?
9. Satisfy his every craving for food, drink, and comfort. See that every sensual desire is gratified. Denial may lead to harmful frustration.
10. Take his part against neighbors, teachers, and policemen. They are all prejudiced against your child.
11. When he gets into real trouble, apologize for yourself by saying, "I never could do anything with him."
12. Prepare for a life of grief. You're apt to have it.

So, you see, the choice is ours. We can train our children the Lord's way, or as the police (tongue in cheek) have suggested. The only thing at stake is your children's future, and maybe yours.

This year is an election year. Just as it was during the 2000 election, we will hear discussion regarding "family values." Sadly, discussion is all we'll hear. Can anyone honestly say that the 21^st-century home is not in a state of disarray? Consider some facts:

1. More single parents (mothers and fathers) than at any time in our history.
2. One of every two marriages ends in divorce.
3. More than one million babies will be aborted this year.
4. Sexual activity among teenagers under 18 is on the rise.
5. Sexual diseases are on the rise.
6. Teenage suicides are on the rise.
7. Alcoholism among those between 18 and 21 is on the increase.

So people must choose-does the world have the answers, or should we follow the principles taught in God's word? When I look at the world and its condition, it seems to me like a no-brainer! What about you? (KMG)