In your mind, picture a wedding, maybe your own. The preacher says, "We are gathered here today before God. ..and in the presence of this company to join this man and this woman in Holy Matrimony..."

Now picture a courtroom wherein are two people who formerly looked into one another's eyes with intense emotion and love. Two who formerly hoped and planned their lives together. Two who formerly ate together, worked together, played together, slept together, and worshipped God together. Now they sit at separate tables, with lawyers between them, and a judge who will decide, not only their futures, but also their children's futures. COULD ANYTHING BE MORE WRONG? The final decree, spoken matter-of-factly, "Divorce granted." The judge stands and walks away with a hundred other things on his mind, and the participants leave, feeling stunned, empty, numb, rejected, and lonely. So much is over so quickly. Again, CAN ANYTHING BE MORE WRONG???

The home is the basic unit of our society, and if the home is broken, the nation will also be broken. The home is an institution that God planned from the beginning (Genesis 2:24). In our nation, it is said, one of every two marriages ends in divorce. Most Christians do everything they can to build happy husband-wife relationships. Those who follow the teachings of Jesus enter marriage anticipating success; yet, even among Christians, marriages sometimes fail.

Few marriages fail because of one single factor. Though either the husband or wife may have one basic fault that casts a shadow over the marriage; usually, several factors are involved. Whatever the cause, the consequences are always many and tragic.

Why do marriages succeed?

• Each mate is alert to saying and doing those things that, when said or done, afford the marriage partner the mature company and conversation to which that companion is entitled (Proverbs 31:10-12,27; Colossians 3:18,19; Ephesians 5:21-33).
• Neither denies the other normal sexual pleasure (1 Corinthians7:3-5).
• Each partner finds emotional security in love and attention from the other.
• Neither provokes the other to jealousy or constantly threatens to end the marriage (Colossians 3:19).
• Parenthood, when possible, becomes a reality (Psalm 127:3-5).
• Both partners use their resources wisely (Proverbs 31:13-24).

Why are so many homes broken?

Lack of belief in God. The number-one reason is a breakdown in faith! Many people no longer believe in God, so naturally, they do not believe that the Bible is God's word. And if it isn't His word, it has no spiritual value to us today. Other books would then be just as valuable to us. In school, our children learn evolution, and often they are ready to accept the false theories taught regarding human origin. Some Teachers boldly deny the Bible account of creation. If there is no God, there is no accountability.

Lack of belief in what God says. Hebrews 1:1-2 tells us that God has spoken. He spoke about the home. God's law on the permanence of marriage is revealed in Matthew 19:1-9; 5:32. God does the joining, and He legislates the parties who are free to marry. Why, then would anyone say, "We can always get a divorce"? The Pharisees (vs. 3) understood God's right to say who has the right to marry and who has the right to separate from marriage!

The surest guarantee I know against divorce, is two hearts filled with respect for Christ and His authority.

Fornication will keep us out of heaven and destroy our homes (1 Corinthians 6:9-10; Galatians 5:19). We must "Flee Fornication" (1 Corinthians 6:18); Cf. Genesis. 39:12: cf. Proverbs 7. In recent years, the devil has won more victories on the battlefield of sexual desire than perhaps any other. Satan seems to DESENSITIZE us by bombarding us with sexual images, and innuendo. He seeks to NORMALIZE deviant behavior (Cf. Isaiah 5:20). The scriptures teach, "Drink water from your own cistern and fresh water from your own well...let your fountain be blessed and rejoice in the wife of your youth." (Proverb 5:15,18)

Immodest attire (1 Timothy 2:9ff); speech (Ephesians 4:29); and conduct (Lasciviousness cf. Galatians 5:19ff). Strangely enough, many people who disapprove of fornication and adultery, condone everything that leads to it, as though it were right to contemplate, but wrong to commit, the act. Remember, looks CAN kill (cf. Matthew 5:28). It is here that dancing and mixed swimming must be attacked. We are encouraging loose morals among young people and setting the stage for tragedy.

Quarreling is condemned in Galatians 5:15. An arrogant, self-willed, domineering person will find himself alone (2 Corinthians 12:20; Galatians 5:20; Colossians 3:8). Quarreling and nagging destroy the home (Proverbs 15:17; 19:13).

Materialism (Matthew 6:33; Ecclesiastes 5:10). Extravagance and selfishness often cause folks to work more and more, seeking to have more.

In-laws. If either half of a couple is unwilling to leave his or her parents and begin a new nest, it's too soon for marriage (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19; Mark 10; Ephesians 5). In-laws and parents should be loved and respected, but each marriage partner must be alert to the disposition of one or both parents to oversee the offspring's family life within a new family structure.

Alcohol. A drinker's influence on his family can never be as good as it might otherwise be (Galatians 5:21). Drunkards "shall not inherit the kingdom of God." Alcohol is a depressant, not a stimulant; and there are many other depressants that affect the mind, and therefore, the marriage.

Preoccupation. This describes the state of mind that ranks other people or things ahead of the marriage partner. No man or woman has the God-given right to place other human beings or human activities before his or her companion. Only God should come before your marriage partner.

Cessation of courtship. Of all the specific reasons that marriages fail, the end of courtship might well be the most serious (cf. 1 Peter 3:7). If it is true that a proper marriage forms as the result of love developed over a time period prior to the wedding, it is reasonable to assume that the marriage must be perpetuated on the same basis. If courtship ceases, the marriage as a love relationship is doomed to failure. The Bible teaches that love "does not behave it unseemly" (1 Corinthians 13:6). It never does what is unkind, untactful, or uncouth, either in word or deed. It is thoughtful, kind, courteous, and cultured. Marriage partners who, after the wedding, continue to demonstrate love and respect for one another seldom find themselves in serious marital difficulty in later months and years.

When we forget God and fail to respect His word, we become a law unto ourselves. This brings sorrow in this life and threatens the very destiny of our souls. When there is a return to faith in God's way, there will be fewer broken, and many happier, homes.