This article is designed to help you consider your response to one of God's great blessings--your family. We are duty-bound, not just to recognize our blessings, but also to respond to them appreciatively. Consider how God has enriched your life by allowing you to know and love your family members. Words cannot adequately express my gratitude, but I know that I can illustrate it through actions of appreciation. The Christian mind should search for ways to show gratitude and return love.

As parents, we need to appreciate our children. When I think of the three precious, perfect, wonderful souls with which God has blessed me, I scarce can take it in. Psalm 127:3 says, "Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, The fruit of the womb is a reward." God's word goes on to say, in verse 5, "Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them." How can I, as a parent, show my children how much I appreciate them?

First, I can be considerate. They did not ask to be born; I brought them into the world, and I am responsible for their care. Children are not a nuisance; nor are they excuses for my shortcomings. They are not to be used and abused as servants who are inferior to their parents. God didn't give us slaves. He gave us children. Don't abuse them. If parents respect and nurture their children and treat them with love and dignity, the children will honor them. It is the virtuous, hard working mother of Proverbs 31 who, because of her hard work in caring for her children, is praised by them. Verse 28 says, "Her children rise up and call her blessed; Her husband also, and he praises her."

When our children were younger, my wife taught me a valuable lesson. She said, " They are just like miniature adults." We treat them as respectfully as we do adults. Sometimes, I think parents forget that they are dealing with another person who has feelings, not to be scorned, ridiculed, or slapped around. Parents, how much self-worth and self-respect are you instilling in your children? Far too many children have low self-esteem because of overbearing parents who have "talked down" to them and trampled on their personalities. Not one scripture gives parents the right to display egotistical attitudes, especially when ruling over their children. Appreciate your children. They need a lot of love. Don't let a day pass without telling them you love them, not once, but several times. Show your love through hugs, kisses, praise, and time.

We also show appreciation for our children by raising them properly. God gave us children and told us to teach them how to live. It is my duty to honor God by instructing my children according to His way. If necessary, this involves corporal discipline; however, such discipline must be administered with love and instruction, not outrageous wrath and uncontrolled anger. Listen to the words of the wise man, Solomon: "He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him promptly." {Proverbs 13:24} "Chasten your son while there is hope, and do not set your heart on his destruction." {Proverbs 19:18} "Correct your son and he will give you rest; yes, he will give delight to your soul." {Proverbs 29:17}

Unfortunately, many parents do disservice to their children by not spanking them early enough. We are duty-bound to help our children rid themselves of bad habits, such as back-talking, unruly spirits, hitting, etc., as quickly as possible. When parents exercise discipline, from the beginning, the progress is astonishing. When children realize they can't get away with bad behavior, it minimizes future misbehavior. Our children have thanked us time and time again for teaching them manners and proper behavior. Sadly, many children are starved for such love.

My children have seen the troublemakers and disturbers at school, and they realize that those children weren't fortunate enough to have parents who love them enough to help them build character. Why does the Lord chasten us? "And you have forgotten the exhortation which speaks to you as to sons: My son, do not despise the chastening of the Lord, nor be discouraged when you are rebuked by Him; for whom the Lord loves He chastens, and scourges every son whom He receives. If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom a father does not chasten? But if you are without chastening, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate and not sons. Furthermore, we have had human fathers who corrected us, and we paid them respect. Shall we not much more readily be in subjection to the Father of spirits and live? For they indeed for a few days chastened us as seemed best to them, but He for our profit, that we may be partakers of His holiness. Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it." {Hebrews 12:5-11} Simply put, God loves us. Parents who love their children discipline them.

On the other hand, children need to exhibit gratitude. What, in the way of gratitude, do children owe their parents? No, I don't mean financially; it is the parents' duty to support the children. I am astonished when parents "charge" their children for the necessities of life. Paul said in 2 Corinthians 12:14, "For I do not seek yours, but you. For the children ought not to lay up for the parents, but the parents for the children." I know of a case where the parents of a young, college-age girl actually billed her for shampoo, soap, and the necessities of life she used while living at home. This bill eventually reached several thousand dollars. Then, they gave it to the man she married. What a nice wedding gift at the beginning of their life together! No, children should not be burdened with obligations the parents should fulfill while the children are getting their feet on the ground.

How then do children show gratitude and appreciation to parents who have given them so much love and care? Very simply, by loving, obeying, and respecting them. Very young children can show love and appreciation for their parents. They do so with hugs and kisses, and by saying "thank you." They do so by smiling and demonstrating happiness. They do so by being the kind of children who make their parents proud. When children do these things, they repay their parents in full. This is how our children show us their appreciation. I do not expect any financial repayment from my children, but when they say "thank you," and look at me with loving eyes, and don't grumble when I ask them to do their chores, they tell me, "Daddy, I appreciate you so much."

God intended for the parent/child relationship to be a blessing for both parties involved in this very special and important relationship. He gave different duties to each. But neither should forget one very important point--both will answer to God! Parents will give account of how they raised their children. Children will give account of how easy or difficult they made the task. This relationship does not have to be one of untold heartache for both parties. We can lessen the heartache by loving God and one another. If we exhibit this type of love, the pieces will fall into their proper places. If parents and children will just realize that God has the answers to all of life's problems, together, they can build a lifetime of wonderful memories. Please try God's way--it works. (KMG)