God pictures as the perfect marriage, a marriage that is based on love (Ephesians 5:23-33). He commands the husband to love his wife more than he loves himself, and to nourish and cherish her. A man should provide for his wife's needs and consider her a precious possession. The most important part of a good marriage is LOVE, not just a physical attraction, but true love and concern for each other before God. Marriages that last are built on love (Ecclesiastes 9:9). The wise man Solomon said that enjoying life's blessings with a loving companion is a great reward.
To show the great love that is to exist between husbands and wives, God paralleled it to the love that Christ demonstrated for the church (Ephesians 5:25). This is the true commitment that should exist between husband and wife, each fulfilling his/her role by loving the other. A man ought to value his wife to the extent that no sacrifice would be too great to make for her benefit. Wives, in turn, should honor and respect their husbands.
What is love? True love is shown in concrete ways, by how we act, what we think, and what we say. We find God's description of love in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7.
1. Love Is Patient - It learns to overlook, and bear with, some small areas of irritation. Remembering our own weaknesses will help us to understand our companions' faults and shortcomings. We must be careful to watch the tone of our voices, our feelings, our reactions, and our tempers.
2. Love Is Kind - Develop the trait of doing little deeds of kindness and giving thought to how you might show your appreciation for your mate. Love involves concern and consideration for the other person's welfare. Love EXPRESSES.
3. Love Is Not Jealous - Love is unselfish, free from meanness, smallness, and pettiness. Love is big-hearted and caring; it results in the full giving of oneself to another.
4. Love Is Not Boastful - Humility stems from a heart full of love. Husbands and wives should not be competitors.
5. Love Is Not Arrogant - Arrogance and false pride are not characteristic of love. Love is not egotistical, conceited, or puffed up. Love is not inflated with self-importance. It is difficult to live with a proud and conceited person. He wants attention, but gives none. An overbearing, self-centered person can destroy love and respect.
6. Love Is Not Rude - Love has good manners. Courtesy and politeness are of great importance to the good health of any marriage. Husbands and wives should be considerate and sympathetic toward one another.
7. Love Does Not Insist on Having Its Own Way - The one who loves does not selfishly demand his own way all the time. Love gives. Love works for goals that are common and compromises in the areas where you differ. Marriage partners must practice the working art of "give and take." Learn to give a lot, and take a little - accept each other as you are.
8. Love Is Not Irritable (Easily Provoked) - Love is not short-tempered; it does not easily get its feelings hurt or ruffled. Marriage is the closest relationship in the world, and it is important that both parties work together to keep from aggravating each other. If you know of something you habitually do that irritates your mate, resolve to overcome that habit. If a marriage is to be happy, touchiness, sullenness, and anger cannot exist for very long. Learn to talk to your mate and discuss your problems; keep the communication lines open.
9. Love Is Not Resentful - It is not healthy for a person to carry around the hurts and the injuries that have occurred in the past; doing so breaks down the ability to love. Love does not keep score of wrongs. Forgiveness and love go hand and hand. Forgiveness is a loving act that has, as one of its basic ingredients, forgetfulness. Forgiveness means not bringing up the past.
10. Love Does Not Rejoice At Wrong, But Rejoices in What Is Right - Love always looks for what is right and good and makes a positive effort toward what is good. Love looks for the best in one's mate.
11. Love Bears All Things - Lovers forbear one another.
12. Love Believes All Things - Love always believes the best until proven wrong.
13. Love Hopes All Things - Love always expects something good from the one who is loved.
14. Love Endures All Things - True love can outlast anything. There is no person, no situation, nothing that can get the best of true love between two people who have committed their hearts and lives to God and to each other.
Love's endurance knows no limits, its trust no end, its hope no fading; it can outlast anything. If, we will but follow God's pattern for the marriage relationship, we can find the happiness that God intended when He ordained it. The pleasure and happiness are there when the husband and wife have the proper love for each other and for God.
Many people can quote the words Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 13. But, the more difficult work is putting them into practice in our lives--especially in the marriage relationship. God instituted marriage for the happiness of both parties. Yet, many Christians are married but are not happy. This is true because one, or both of them, have not yet learned the true meaning of LOVE. I'd like to challenge all husbands and wives to ask their mates if they're TRULY HAPPY with their relationship. One more thing--if the answer is "no," be ready to do something about it! (KMG)