I have met a surprising number of adults who have strong feelings against going to funerals or visiting in nursing homes. Frequently, children are also insulated from these realities of life when mom and dad don't visit during these times of need.

Admittedly, these are difficult choices for everyone. To some, a visit to a nursing home is so depressing that recovery takes weeks. Funerals can be horrifying experiences, leading to nightmares and scenes which we cannot get out of our minds. Others fear not knowing what to say, or the embarrassment caused by an uncontrollable display of emotion.

But how sad to let such things keep us (and our children) from comforting the suffering or consoling the grieved. How sad to live a life of vague denial, only to one day reach its end and be unable to do anything more than feel cheated.

We live in a society that prefers to ignore painful, unfavorable realities. Sickness, disability, and death are viewed as unwelcome intruders who come to steal away a loved one or the happy, healthy, carefree life we are "supposed to have." It is unfortunate, and unnecessary, to develop such negative feelings toward the inevitable. A 17th century preacher named Increase Mather received from a friend a letter asking if he was "still in the land of the living." "No," he replied, "I am in the land of the dying. I am going to the land of the living."

Please read Ecclesiastes 7:2-4. God is not recommending a morbid preoccupation with sorrow and death, but He is asking us to be wise and embrace such things as the realities of life. When we come to understand "that death is the end of every man," we have made a giant step toward right living in this life, and toward proper preparation for the life to come.

As a preacher, I understand well the difficulty of going to such places. Yet, consider for a moment how much more difficult it is for the person in the home, or the family, who has lost a loved one, if you are not there. Just being there says more than a thousand words!

Remember, one day you may be the one who needs encouragement! KG