Many problems that arise and persist in the church are often a matter of communication--either the lack of it or because the communication that exists is simply ineffective. Either way, the communication problem often leads to more problems, lack of understanding, and, often, unnecessary strife. To prevent this, we need to be effective communicators. But how? Consider the following factors that apply to good communication:
At Least Two Parties. By definition, communication is an exchange of thoughts or information. If there is only one individual, there can be no communication; it's just talking, because communication requires that there be both a speaker and a listener. God has communicated the plan of salvation to mankind, but unless he hears it, it cannot save him. If we have already heard and obeyed, we need to be the ones doing the speaking; if we have not, then we need to do the listening.
In local churches, ineffective communication comes about because we are not talking to one another. Sometimes, members want to know what is going on, but the elders aren't telling them what is happening. Sometimes, though, the elders try to communicate to the flock, but no one listens. Is it any wonder such situations lead to troubled churches?
Two Interested Parties. And if the communication is to be effective, both parties must be interested parties; that means the speaker is interested in the listener's concerns. He speaks in a way that attracts and holds the listener's attention, and in understandable terms that have meaning to the listener. But the listener must also be an interested partner who is interested in what the speaker has to say, gives his full attention, and investigates what is said; the listener should also be interested in the speaker and his concerns. If the speaker is not interested in the listener's concerns, or if the listener is not interested in the speaker's concerns, any communication that occurs will, at the least, be ineffective and, at the worst, cause for a severed relationship.
God was certainly interested in our concerns when He communicated to us His plan for our salvation. He loved us so much He sent His only Son to die for us (John 3:16), but it is not until we listen with interest to what He has revealed that His plan can convict us and we can be saved (Romans 10:17). Many men have read God's word, but not with any real interest in what He has said, and the result is that they are still not saved.
When it comes to our communication with one another, this is where we often fail. When a dispute arises, we are most interested in getting the other side to listen to us, even as we ignore what they are saying and even show obvious signs that we are not interested in what they have to say. Paul said we must look out not only to our "own interests, but also to the interests of others." (Philippians 2:4) This applies, even when we do not agree, and it will go a long way in resolving differences.
Purpose. For the communication to be effective, the speaker must offer, with a predetermined purpose, something important to the listener. At the same time, the listener must have a purpose--seeking from the speaker information that is important, helpful, and relative to his needs and interests. If there is no purpose for speaking, or no purpose in listening, the speaker is doing nothing more than talking, and the listener has simply filled his head with useless information.
When disputes arise and we go so far as speaking with one another, let us make sure that there is a purpose -- and that it is the right purpose. Do not speak just to make your views known, to embarrass another, or to assert authority; seek the truth, a resolution to differences, and peace.
With these three things in place, our communication with one another will be effective; but problems persist because we often omit something. Consider a few examples from God's word that demonstrate this reality:
Understandable Speech; No Desire to Hear. (Jeremiah 25:3-9; 35:17; Romans 10:18-21) On numerous occasions, when God spoke to the Israelites, it was not that they did not understand what He was saying, but that they had no desire to listen. The result was disobedience and captivity. God's communication was ineffective to them because they had no desire to hear.
Desire to Hear; Unintelligible Speech. (1 Corinthians 14:9-11) At Corinth, the problem was that many were using spiritual gifts for the wrong reasons. Paul reminded them that if one spoke in a tongue, and had no one to interpret what was said, he might as well be speaking to the air, for no one would understand the words, though they desired to hear.
Understandable Speech; Desire to Hear. (Acts 2) On Pentecost, the apostles spoke to people who spoke different languages, and each listener understood in his own language (v. 6). The people listened attentively because they desired to hear what the apostles had to say. Upon hearing the words, they reacted to what they had heard. They not only had a desire to listen, but also to obey.
Understandable Speech, No Desire to Hear; Then No Desire to Listen. (Deuteronomy 1:41-45) When God told the Israelites to enter the Promised Land, they refused to hear His word and obey, so God forbade them to enter. Then they decided to go in; God said "No," but they went anyway. They were defeated, and when they pleaded with the Lord, He would not hear them.
The fact is, if we want better relationships with one another, we must have better, more effective communication. Local churches need to ensure that brethren agree and that they share common desires and aims. Without communication, we lose sight of who our brethren are and what they think and feel, and it will not be long before we do not really know them. Sadly, we can do the same thing with God. We can stray so far away, and communicate so infrequently, that we reach a point where we no longer know Him.
We also need to strive for effective communication with one another to maintain organization. Imagine a church where, as time passes, brethren fail to communicate and let each other know who is responsible for certain duties. Eventually, there would be confusion and disorganization, and that church would accomplish very little. Hard feelings would result, and relationships would be strained. Open communication lines ensure we know one another and can grow together, dealing with personal communication faults; communicating promptly, fairly, and with love. When open communication is lacking, the result will be that we "bite and devour one another" (Galatians 5:15), and those involved will self-destruct; brotherly relationships will become strained, and instead of talking with one another, brethren will simply create images-sometimes unfavorable ones--within their minds of who their brethren are and what they are like.
To ensure effective communication, we must choose to speak often with one another. We actually have few conversations with each other! Constant communication is necessary if we want to accomplish anything as a church. And when we speak to one another, we must do so with love, because the attitudes we profess may mean more than the words we say. If we speak, we must say something worthwhile (Ephesians 4:29).