How many times have you either thought or said, "That person is really stubborn!" You may even have said: "I think he/she is the most stubborn person I've ever met." We can all smile, because we know that every one of us has made such a statement. We have all encountered stubborn people. If we think about it, isn't there some stubbornness within each of us? If you don't think so, I've proved my point, and you are being stubborn.
Sometimes we chuckle at the stubbornness of an older man or woman who is unwilling to have things any way but his or her way, and we try to overlook it. Some people, under doctor's orders, have strict diet restrictions but stubbornly eat whatever they like. Then there are those who go to the other extreme and stubbornly diet, eating less than their bodies need. When told they are hurting themselves, they defiantly continue to under-eat.
We also chuckle at young children who stubbornly say, "No! No!" when it is the parents who should, in no uncertain terms, be telling the children, "NO!" Addressing stubbornness at an early age will spare much future heartache. Stubbornness is really nothing about which to chuckle, and it should not be allowed to go unchecked. I have yet to see where stubbornness has benefited or complimented anyone's life. Rather, it has caused untold problems and has negatively affected the lives of those who are stubborn and of those with whom they come into contact.
Some people have defiantly refused to surrender themselves to God's will and have, because of stubbornness, departed this world unsaved. I've witnessed churches torn asunder by one or two stubborn people. This occurs because these brethren refuse Christ's teaching and will not yield in matters where they could yield, becoming peacemakers and submitting to one another in love. I've witnessed husbands and wives, brothers and sisters, children and parents, all fighting and having relationship problems because they don't listen to one another, and each individual considers himself first, refusing to budge an inch or yield to another's wishes. Oh, how stubborn people can be!
Let's look at a few verses that deal with this issue. Consider God's instructions to Israel concerning their stubborn sons:
"If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and [that}, when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them: Then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of his city, and unto the gate of his place; And they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son [is] stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; [he is] a glutton, and a drunkard." {Deuteronomy 21:18-20}
I think we know the rest. God told the Israelites to stone their stubborn sons to death. Stubbornness is a very serious sin. God would not stand for children who would not listen to their fathers' instructions and discipline. Many children today are also stubborn. Eventually, these children grow into stubborn adults, who not only refuse to listen to God, but also will not listen to others, and the outcome is catastrophic.
God chose Moses to lead the Israelites out of Egyptian slavery. In doing what God asked, Moses faced the Egyptian king, Pharaoh, one of the most stubborn beings on earth at that time. Ungodly Pharaoh refused to allow God's people to leave Egypt. Because of Pharaoh's defiance, God sent plague after plague upon Egypt and its people; however, with each plague, Pharaoh seemed to become more defiant.
Sometimes, that's the way it is with stubborn people. Even after they've lost everything, and it's evident that they must change because of the calamity they are bringing upon themselves and everyone concerned, they still refuse to surrender. What moves a stubborn person? In Pharaoh's case, it was the death of his firstborn son that finally caused him to relent. His stubbornness broke for only a brief period, however, before he resumed his old tricks. Let's examine a different translation, which uses the word "stubborn," instead of the KJV, which says "hardened his heart." I think the word "stubborn" more than adequately describes Pharaoh.
- 1. "Yet, this time, too, Pharaoh was stubborn and did not let the people go." (Exodus 8:32)
- 2. "Pharaoh was stubborn and would not let the Israelites go, as the LORD had predicted through Moses." (Exodus 9:35)
In freeing Israel from Egyptian captivity, God was sending a message--leave behind everything that accompanies stubbornness and stubborn hearts. Pharaoh was representative of a stubborn heart that was rebellious and defiant against God. Israel was to free herself from such stubbornness. Did she? No. Israel proved that she, too, had the same type of stubborn heart as Pharaoh. The Psalmist said in Psalms 78:8, "And might not be as their fathers, a stubborn and rebellious generation; a generation [that] set not their heart aright, and whose spirit was not steadfast with God."
When King Saul acted presumptuously and spared the Amalekites, he was charged with stubbornness. "For rebellion [is as] the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness [is as] iniquity and idolatry. Because thou hast rejected the word of the LORD, he hath also rejected thee from [being] king." (1 Samuel 15:23) Saul explicitly refused to listen to God. He acted according to his own will and authority and did what he thought was best. God charged him with rebellion and stubbornness. Today, we see churches that are as stubborn as Saul, stubborn because they act and do things for which they have no authority. When asked for authority, they stubbornly and defiantly refuse to give up their social meals, recreation, sponsoring churches, etc. Yet, God has not asked for or commanded any of these things.
The stubborn do not keep good company. The book of Proverbs mentions the harlot as being stubborn. "And, behold, there met him a woman [with] the attire of an harlot, and subtle of heart. (She [is] loud and stubborn; her feet abide not in her house." (Proverbs 7:10-11) Her stubbornness meant that she did not care about appearing to others as abrasive or worldly. She was brazen enough to appear in public dressed as a harlot. Today, we observe the same stubbornness among those who are told not to dress as harlots. Some people become very stubborn when they're asked to change their dress codes. They want to wear offensive, immodest clothes, and wear them they will! Sometimes they say, "You can't tell me what to wear!" Neither could the harlot be told what to wear. Why--because she was stubborn and loud.
Having looked at some Bible examples of stubbornness, I'd like to share just a few examples of STUBBORN CHRISTIANS.
1. THOSE WHO REFUSE TO STUDY THEIR BIBLES: It's pure stubbornness for Christians to refuse to attend Sunday morning Bible classes or other Bible studies. Some simply refuse to go. How do they expect their children or themselves to grow spiritually? Spirituality doesn't come from being only Sunday-worship-hour attendees. We need to realize that our faith is limited and that it will only grow according to the degree of Bible study in which we engage. If we barely study, we cannot expect to increase our faith. "Blessed [are] they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled." (Matthew 5:6 (KJV))
2. THOSE WHO REFUSE TO IMPROVE THEIR ATTENDANCE: I've met some pretty stubborn people when it comes to attending the church worship services. Some obstinately refuse to attend more than the Sunday morning worship hour. Is this acceptable to God? Personally, I would not stake the abode of my eternal soul on minimal service. God expects more from me. In fact, the parable of the talents teaches that we have a duty to multiply our service and do more. God's word says, "...always abounding in the work of the Lord."
3. THOSE WHO REFUSE TO BE MORE ACTIVE AND INVOLVED: How many members take an active role in serving? Some men say, "No, I don't want to do more." Some think they don't have the ability to do more, but all it takes is some experience to get the ability flowing. If we never step forth; if we never take chances or try, we will always remain inactive and out of service. Don't be stubborn about serving. Give it a try. Try a scripture reading. Try presiding at the Lord's Table. Try offering a public prayer. Try teaching a class. Brethren, don't be stubborn about being active participants in the Lord's work.
STUBBORNNESS CAUSES PEOPLE TO BE:
1. UNFORGIVING and UNWILLING TO CONFESS THEIR FAULTS. Have you ever watched a stubborn person apologize? Think about it. I have noticed one thing that characterizes the stubborn--they rarely, if ever, apologize. In the stubborn person's mind, it is always the other person who needs to do the apologizing. It's always the other person who has done the wrong. In fact, the stubborn will almost do anything to avoid apologizing. They will fight to the bitter end, claiming their innocence and their right to NOT apologize and to have things their way. I can hear it now: "I don't need to apologize! They did it. I've done nothing wrong, nothing!"
I've seen stubbornness so intense on the part of some that they would rather alienate themselves from the closest of family members and eventually cut off all ties rather than apologize. Even the apostle Paul said it would be better to "suffer wrong" than to be stubborn (1 Corinthians 6:7). The Bible teaches us to always be willing to "confess our faults one to another" (James 5:16). When is the last time you admitted you were wrong?
2. DEFENSIVE. Defensiveness was somewhat touched on by the preceding point. If you find yourself always on the defensive, always proving yourself right, always arguing your side, you might want to stop and ask yourself if you are simply being stubborn. I once said to an individual who had cut off everyone from his life because he would not admit doing anvthing offensive, "When ALL people are saying I am the problem, I would ask myself if they are right. Why is everyone pointing the finger at you? Could it not be possible that you need to realize it IS YOU?" But that individual, instead of changing, left the church in a huff and continued to be defensive to the bitter end. Don't be stubborn and say things such as, "I'm not at fault" or "I will never say I was wrong. It's all them!"
3. DEFIANT AND UNRULY. Christ-like attitudes do not characterize the stubborn. I have witnessed bitterness quickly develop in this type of person. Ugliness and moodiness are generated because the stubborn person is upset and has not gotten his or her way. A state of arrogance and obstinance develops. In this state of mind, many sins spring forth: gossip, slander, harsh and hurtful words, harboring animosity, harboring a grudge, hatred, etc. Ahab was a stubborn man. When he could not buy the family property of Nabboth, he went into a sulking tantrum that resulted in his wife Jezebel carrying out the wicked deed of murder in order to satisfy him. People, family members or friends, sometimes become "patsies" for the stubborn person, who will not have a better attitude until they get their way. A stubborn person is unbearable to live with, and some people will almost do anything to gratify them. This only encourages more stubbornness. They will continue to act in such a fashion since they know that by being stubborn, they will eventually get their way.
Think how wonderful the world would be if we eliminated, or at least got a handle on, our stubborn ways. The world would be a much happier place. How well we would get along with others. Heed these verses, brethren, and give up stubbornness! Romans 12:16 (KJV) "Be of the same mind one toward another. Mind not high things, but condescend to men of low estate. Be not wise in your own conceits." Ephesians 5:21 (KJV)- "Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God."